Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Guitar Guy





It is a statistic certainty that if more than 5 guys are at a party one of them will try to play the guitar to impress everyone at the party. The "guitar guy" does this because he wants to look cool and potentially steal your girlfriend. This guitar guy will obviously get all the attention and admiration of all people (especially the ladies). The good news is that I have collected a list of four instruments that if you are able to play, you will make that guitar playing douche look like a bitch.

1-Harp. Simple yet elegant. A harp says you are cultured and classy. A harp also says you are a caring, gentle soul (ladies ;) )Also, you will look like an angel. Be sure to point out that your instrument has 46 strings compared only six strings. That makes your instrument 7.666 times harder to play. The women will be turned on by your math skills.


2-Double neck guitar. Excuse me, how many necks does your guitar have? Yeah, that's what I thought. Your guitar will be mathematically twice as cool as the other guy's guitar. Also, you will be either able to rock twice as hard or twice as long. The choice is yours.

3-Organ. People will be impress purely that your were able to bring an organ to the party. You only need to be able to play a song or two to impress people.



4-Keytar. Excuse me how many instruments does your instrument combine? Yeah that's what I thought. Keytars used to popular so I am sure they are making a come back, probably. You will look like your own man because no one gives keytar lessons so you have to teach yourself. Imagine this conversation:

Hot girl: So where did you learn to play keytar?

You: I had to teach myself. No one gives lessons. If you don't believe me you can check craigslist.

Hot girl leaves

Hot girl returns 2 minutes later

Hot girl: I just checked craigslist. You were right. That is hot.

Hot make out session

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